Are you a registered male student of the University of Calgary? Willing to part with your wee friends in return for suitable compensation? Then do we have the deal for you!
STUPID CRIMINAL FILES
Lord, love a duck! I don't even know where to start with this one.
- Ronald A. Mahner; recently released con, who'd served a sentence for DUI, "auto theft and habitually driving with a suspended or revoked license".
- Released from lock-up and promptly steals car.
- Returns to jail four days later to retrieve his gear, driving aforementioned stolen car.
- Offers up his 'revoked for life' driver's license as ID to the officer on duty.
- Loiters long enough for a check to be run on vehicle's tag. Did I mention, that it was stolen?
Utah man is accused of assault by cheese block.
Attention! Are you the unhappy recipient of a North American fruitcake (not to be confused with the totally delish' Caribbean fruitcake), foisted upon you by some sodding visiting relation who managed to slip it by airport security? Well, do we have a solution for you. Send all unwanted (understandable so) fruitcakes here:-
Fruitcake Amnesty Campaign
Food Bank of Western New York
91 Holt St.
Buffalo, NY 14206
"FORK EATER AVOIDS PRISON TIME" (Quite possibly the best headline I've seen in months.)
Arild Andersen, 48, a compulsive fork swallower, has indeed managed to dodge jail time inspite of his conviction on a drug rap. Andersen, who obviously has 'issues', "has swallowed, and had operations to remove, over 30 forks in his many stays behind bars, and physicians now assess a repeat performance could be fatal".
AND IN MORE NEWS OF CRIMINALITY FROM NORWAY...(definitely a *HIC* FILES entry)
Man sits driver's test drunk!