Thursday, December 04, 2003

*HIC* FILES

Travel Advisory: When in Sweden, beware the drunken elk.

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BZZZZZZZZZT!



Just read this:

"I was just standing there. I'd just put the roast in the oven, and I was cutting the beans," she said, demonstrating with her right hand held high clutching her favourite knife.

"Then there was this huge crack, and at the same time the power went off. For a moment I couldn't move and then pffff, it went in my hand, down through my body and out of my feet."

"I just said f..., I've been struck by lightning! And the cat was sitting there cleaning itself as though nothing had happened."
More funnies from Ms Walker...

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DOUBLE DUMB*** AWARDS

Frenchman bungles suicide attempt after flambé-ing life's savings.

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NEW MATH?

How does 49 dead cats stored in a garage translate into only 7 counts of animal cruelty? Authorities say the Michigan City woman became overwhelmed by the number of animals in her 'care'.

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CAN I HEAR AN AMEN?

German union rep says repetitive carol playing is "psycho-terrorism".

"You don't need Gently Falls the Snow in the sausage section," Mr Rieser said.

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OH YEAH

"She picks up a Bugatti's momentum. You want her more at a Volkswagen's steady trot.

"Squeeze the maximum mileage out of your gallon of gas. But she's eating up the road with all cylinders blazing."

-Aniruddha Bahal, Bunker 13


My question is, if this guy got a book deal, why can't I?

5 Ninjas, 1 Kitten and a Fifth of Vodka!