"He doesn't appear to be a hard-core criminal, just stupid."
That pretty much sums up 'the case of the nekid thief' who got stuck in the bookstore chimney on Christmas morning. Uh, did I mention that is was a Christmas morning in Minnesota? Brrrrr....
Tip. Going on the lam after a sucessful bank robbery does not generally include getting busted 2 hours later pissed drunk at a liquor store.
Question. What happens when you break into a glue factory to get the ultimate high, knock over a vat of contact cement, and then get stuck to the floor? This:
"I seen visions of Jesus and the devil and a space alien with a big head...I also seen the King of rock 'n' roll -- what's his name? Elvis? And somebody else I can't remember... it might have been Michael Jackson or that other singer, Kurt Cobain."*Sigh* German burglar downs half a bottle of expensive whisky then crawls into bed with sleeping home owners.
CULINARY ATROCITIES
All is not well in the world when you can't trust your curry.
Japan
A housewife has been ordered to pay more 1.1 million USD in damages over an incident where she served curry with a dash of arsenic to unsuspecting friends and neighbours at a community festival, killing 4 and sickening dozens.
Britain
Dena Thompson, aka, the Black Widow is to serve life following her conviction for killing her "curry-loving husband".
HOW TO DISS A COP AND GET AWAY WITH IT
Step 1:- Move to Norway
Step 2:- Be polite. Try saying something like: "I think you are an asshole. Have a nice evening."
SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE
Inmates at what must be a Lisbon prison for gourmands refused their "special Christmas lunch because they said the bread included in the meal had not been freshly baked". Well, we can't have that can we?
GOOD WAY TO GET ONE'S TAIL PARTS SHOT OFF or POSSIBLE SUICIDE METHOD
In the fine stat of Indiana a unicyclist has been fined after giving a bunch of hunters a turn when he rode "unaware through a deer cull".
MORE NEWS OF NAUGHTY BITS!
Stephen Linnen, aka, "the naked photographer" has received a 56-count indictment for his alleged activities over the past couple of years. He "is accused of accosting dozens of women...by ambushing them in the nude and taking photos of their shocked expressions".
posted by dorna! @ 10:12 am
