Tuesday, April 13, 2004


The problem with being a Windies fan is that you can't cultivate a dignified indifference in peace. So here I was trying to mind my own business while pretending to work, making green tomato sauce and torturing the Subservient Chicken; with the whole neighbourhood erupting into raucous applause every ten minutes and the Parental Unit relentlessly delivering unsolicited updates on alternate overs.

By now, unless you're dead or a curling fan, all of you have been made aware of Brian Lara's singular feat yesterday. The Trinie phenom reclaimed his record from Matt Hayden, sopping up an unbeaten 400 runs, before mercifully bringing the West Indies innings to and end at a ridiculous 751 for 5. I'm a difficult woman you say? Why can't I just enjoy Lara's milestone like everyone else? Why? 'Cause I'm not falling for it, that's why.

A brilliant turn at bat does not a cricket team nor a captain make, and I'm not even going to touch the rest of the team today. why couldn't he do this at a more convenient time, like when I don't have a pot of plopping tomato sauce on the burner or when I'm not systematically dismantling my blog? And what's this 'last gasp' crap? Do the boys really think we're going to let them off the hook with this all too predictable smattering of brilliance after the monumental whoop-ass deservingly delivered by Micheal Vaughan and crew?

Southy -The trouble is (as I see it), glorious batsman he may be, but leader and motivator of men-he is not. Moreover, he "leads" the team from ignominious to defeat to ignominious defeat. In the process reducing a proud heritage to laughing stock status...I'm so sorry that he has made this particular century when he has, because it is bad for westindies cricket.

Incidentally, are you gripping England fans on crack? So what if Vaughan's hit a run scoring dry spell? If you'all don't want him, send him here! I'd gladly trade Lara, and I don't think I'm alone in this, for a sane captain who puts in consistent, if relatively modest knocks, doesn't diddle the field every other delivery and who understands that can't captain 'by bat'.

Oh, and Yorkshire Soul, keep yer tongue off of Fidel Edwards and should you indeed opt for eating your blog I've got a kicking sauce to help it go down.


Spank Bush

5 Ninjas, 1 Kitten and a Fifth of Vodka!