Sunday, May 08, 2005

53rd Commandment: Thou shall not blog-whore

What happens when you succumb to your albeit repressed but immodest blog promotion tendencies; and sign up for a dodgy traffic swap scheme, which has taken possession of your browser? You get karmic justice in the form of email like this:
To: never mind
Date: May 8, 2005 12:50 AM
Subject: Hi D, Your Mega Seminar Date and Schedule Information...

Hi D,

I have some exciting news to share with you.

Okay. I’m always up for good news since those sons of fatherless goats lost again.
I will be speaking at the Mega Seminar this July, 16-17th. I would love for you to attend. Let's get to meet in person one and for all :)

Eh! What? Just who the heck is…oh…that guy.
I know, you may be expecting to pay $2997 to
attend. But...
You do not have to pay $2997
or $1997,
or $1497...

I’m thinking I don’t have to pay jack for jack, is what I’m thinking.
You don't have to pay even
$1197, or $997.00

Where is the bloody unsubscribe link?
Not even $797, $697....
.... not even $597...

So how much is it, then? I don’t even have to pay $597 for WHAT?
The best value you may ever see to attend and offline seminar event is right here. Aren't you due for a vacation?

You call that a vacation? I’m still pissed off from trying to uninstall your foofing tool bar. (Note to Mr Mystic: It would appear that to experience the full potential of the term ‘foofy’ one must of necessity conjugate it. Hence, the present continuous form of the verb ‘to foof’, i.e. ‘foofing’; which for some odd reason seems to be much more satisfying than the adjectival form ‘foofy’.)
Wouldn't you want to meet all the other marketers?

No! Absolutely not. I’m not fond of people in general and really don’t like people who are trying to sell me vague stratagems. Which by the way are what?
Wouldn't you love to have dinner next to some of the top names. Network.. and more?

Dinner? Well...
All in the great state of Colorado :)

Hmm, I’ve never been to Colorado. Are the guys cute? No, no, no…not listening.
Well, please check out a few things…
go here now:
Listen to my message...

Oh no you don’t. It's probably rife with subliminal foofiness.
Then click on "Audio MP3 Event Previews" to hear some great calls of the speakers.
Then click on "Your Coaching Staff" to get all the details of the event.

Some Guy

Foof off! Delete Forever.

5 Ninjas, 1 Kitten and a Fifth of Vodka!